May 10, 2009

I Love Tennis Moms

Today is Mother's Day and I am proud and happy to be a Tennis Mom. I love Tennis Moms but not everyone agrees with me on this. In fact, some people seem to have a lot of resentment built up against Tennis Moms. (See, e.g., the Urban Dictionary's definition of Tennis Mom: "Tennis Moms live off their husbands' wealth and resent accusations that nannies don't provide adequate parental instruction.")

Well, here are my top 10 reasons to love Tennis Moms:
  1. Tennis Moms have a lot of cute matching outfits and are willing to wear short skirts no matter what shape their legs are in.
  2. Tennis Moms may seem sweet at the PTA meeting, but on the court their true competitive nature comes out. (Example: hitting you in the face just means you got in the way of the ball.)
  3. Tennis Moms love being outdoors as evidenced by their willingness to play tennis in any weather. Despite tropical heat weaves, gale force winds and/or drenching rains, the true Tennis Mom prefers to finish out the match.
  4. Tennis Moms like to watch the Slams not so much to pick up tips as to see what unfortunate outfit Adidas has put Ana Ivanovic in.
  5. Many Tennis Moms also enjoy catching a glimpse of Rafael Nadal changing shirts between sets.
  6. Tennis Moms will use any excuse to go out to lunch after a match: it's the end of the season, someone's moving, someone's having a birthday, we have a new captain, we won all 4 lines today, we lost all 4 lines today. Any occasion can be celebrated with lunch.
  7. Tennis Moms will be nice and friendly to you during the warm-up but will trash talk you relentlessly to their partner during the match.
  8. Tennis Moms are not above wearing a knee brace, an ankle support, a tennis elbow compression-thingy and Icy Hot on their backs all at the same time just to play a "fun" match.
  9. Tennis Moms know how important it is to get their children involved in a lifetime sport like tennis. Maybe golf.
  10. No matter what their age, weight or income level, Tennis Moms get along because they have a few important things to discuss - tennis, tennis and more tennis.
Happy Mother's Day Tennis Moms!

© Kim Selzman 2009
All Rights Reserved

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